I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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