Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
