Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
she told me i tasted like america
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
