"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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