This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
