Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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