this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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