Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize