If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
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