i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
