Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so let's talk penis.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
