Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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