Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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