I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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