those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
