I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
My pussy is not your playground.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
