We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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