I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize