So drunk its hurt
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
