I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
