Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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