You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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