there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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