do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
