at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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