Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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