I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
