I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
