There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
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