How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize