i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize