so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
