If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
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