talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just had sex on a roof
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
