tonight lets celebrate not being married
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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