Already got asked if we're dating
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Randomize
