can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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