What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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