What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Someone shattered a urinal.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
