I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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