she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize