last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
