you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
