What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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