Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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