matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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