It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize