she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize