If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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