you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
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I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
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If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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