he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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