You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
