I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
