Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
