I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
