You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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