I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
only you would photoshop your dick
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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