Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
