official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
