I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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