So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
jump out the window naked night went bad
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